Last month, my GI doctor added a new medication to my already handful of drugs and proceeded to tell me the worst thing a TTC mommy can possibly hear, (Queue dramatic shark Music)… “I recommend you wait three more months”. Hold up, I have to wait longer?! Hmm, nope. This is not fair! When the doctor laid it down for me I just broke down and literally bursted into tears. I just exploded. I couldn't contain the ugly cry face either. It was almost embarrassing.
I already knew I had to give ttc a small break (Another negative and why I'm taking a break from TTC) because my weight was down and my insides were still working itself out after the pregnancy. But according to my most recent colonoscopy (fun stuff), my colitis has spread (Just what I needed!) so we needed to take additional steps to get me healthy again. However, the disappointment of having to wait three more months without a baby in my belly just made my heart fall to the floor. Thats three additional months that I have to wait to have a gorgeous miracle in my arms! I understand waiting may be the best for me and my yet to be conceived baby. I understand three months is not that long to wait in the grand scheme of things. But you know, I don't want to wait! I want to be pregnant now!
Please excuse my tantrum. Half a month down, two and a half more to go... June, where art thou!!? (Sighh)
So this new drug that I’m on belongs to a class of chemotherapy drugs (yes, legit chemo) called antimetabolites. Women are not advised to get pregnancy while taking this drug. However, women are advised to get healthy before pregnancy. Unfortunately, this is what my road to remission looks like. My GI insures me that me and my baby will be completely safe throughout gestation and studies show plenty of Crohn’s and Colitis mommies have had healthy babies and breast fed while on Mercaptopurine. It is just one more thing I have to worry and think about. I just feel like I have a little extra pressure and anxiety to make all the right decisions. I don't want to loose another baby. I so desperately want to do the right thing! I pray I can trust the health care professionals this time around; Boy, doubt can really eat you up.
Deep inside I really do believe God will keep me and my baby safe from harm no matter what. I have to believe this. My sanity relies on it.
March is going to be a busy month. My colleague is in her last month of pregnancy and will be on maternity leave soon which means I’ll be stepping into work full time and I recently accepted a freelance Interior Design opportunity, go me!
On another note, I was finally able to get my elliptical Lucas bought me for christmas moved to our house from my parents garage. I have been really looking into the benefits of physically prepping the body for pregnancy and the benefits of staying active during gestation and I am really looking forward to enter my next pregnancy healthy and active! A post-preggo bod that bounces back will be an added bonus ;).
The only downside is the huge ugly eye sore it leaves in my office. Oh well! Grateful I have a corner for it :)