Theres not a single day that doesn't go by that I don't do these two very important things. Remember my son, and pray for and over my rainbow. Although it hurts, I have chosen to look to God through my terrible grief, He has lifted me up and given me strength to dream and hope for a tomorrow that comprises of a living child.
There were many times the ugliest thoughts have come to mind, "It took 4 years to conceive your first child, it's going to take even longer this time around", "Your not healthy enough", "Your not strong enough", "What makes you think your next baby won't die too?"
But Deep down, I know the question is not wether or not I will be a Mother again, only a matter of when. For this reason, I will continue to honor my son and pray for my future beautiful rainbow to be planted in my womb.
Firstly, thank you for the amazing hope I wake up to alongside the sun and thank you for the peace and rest you gift me alongside the moon.
I know you have called us to be humble and content.
I trust you are aways in control, and that the Son of God has never made a mistake. Thank you for holding me, for loving me, providing for me and for being the perfect father.
Lord, I know you don't owe me anything. But as your daughter, you know my deepest desires.
I pray so deeply to leave this season of sadness and despair over what I have lost. I can only trust you are holding me and that you are quietly planning something amazing for me.
I know you have picked my future son or daughter. I know it is your plan for Lucas and I to have a family. But If You are willing, may you please, please send him down to us? I know we should not pray with restrictions, and it is much better to have Your will than mine, so Jesus please give me the strength to wait on You.
I pray life over my womb. I pray my womb is a safe place for babies to live and grow strong and healthy.
I pray for every bone, muscle, organ. I pray for every cell, fiber, nerve. I pray for every limb, all the fingers to the tips of the toes. May this baby be perfectly formed with your love and guidance. May every phase and milestone be reached with perfection; without delay or complication.
May this miracle be born with on the perfect hour of the perfect day with so much peace and ease.
I pray time will fly and that my body will be strong and react well to the anesthesia and medication and harsh effects of the necessary surgery. I pray over the doctors and every nurse I come in contact with at the hospital. May they be compassionate and have wisdom to know exactly what to do for mine and my babies very best well being.
I pray my baby will me smart. But most importantly, have a heart that is kind, generous and always looks to you as the perfect example.
Take away my anger, guilt, and please I wipe away with your perfect hands every trace of fear that cripples my ability to completely lean on You. Take away the deathly fear that lighting can and will strike again.
Bathe me in your strength, your blood, your most refreshing grace you have reserved for childless mothers. Heal me and help me to be patient while I wait on your perfect plan.
Always and only in your Son's name, Amen.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. (Romans 12:12)
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I hope. (Psalm 130:5)
I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. (1 Samuel 1:27)
He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother. Praise the LORD! (Psalm 113:9)
P.s. The below requests are extras but if You could throw these in there, that would be greaaat.
-No more stretch marks, seriously, make it stop.
-Twins would be nice! You know, knock it out in one shot.
-Oh and if we could just skip over the whole annoying first trimester morning sickness, so so soooo amazing, 😊 Awesome, thaaaanks.